By Ruth Shapter

Self-love has been a very long journey for me. The ability to think only positive thoughts about yourself and your appearance was a big challenge for me. I can’t count the many times that I’ve cried in the past after seeing a picture of myself. 

Self-love is a basic human necessity and extremely important when it comes to mental health and confidence. I did not realize this at the time and never thought that loving myself would be possible. 

However, after many years of using these following amazing self-love techniques. This skill became a life saving second nature. I am hoping that in sharing these practices with you, you can start to implement them and feel as good as I did overtime. 

Your confidence will increase so much and give you more of an opportunity to put yourself out there and do amazing things. 

Since Valentine’s Day is practically right around the corner. I thought you could all benefit from these following self-love methods that I practice on a daily basis. 

Take Yourself On “Dates” 

One of my personal favorite self-love techniques is to take yourself on dates. This one is very simple but extremely effective. 

The first step towards self-love is learning to be independent. I’m sure you have heard the phrase “you can’t love someone if you can’t learn to love yourself”. Well, this phrase is true. 

Don’t chase around trying to get clarification from potential partners on dates. You can do this yourself. That’s why they call it SELF love because you are doing it yourself. 

Go out by yourself. Go to the cinema. Take yourself out for something to eat. Sit there proudly and don’t worry about what other people think. Although you need to remember that 9/10 no one cares. They are not paying any attention to you.

 So go for it! If you get into a habit of doing this. You won’t regret it and your confidence will grow massively. 

Start A Self Love Journal 

Those who know me, know that I am a massive advocate for journaling. . . All you have to do is write down a few things that you love about yourself every day.

 This may be challenging at first especially if you are not used to thinking this way. That’s why you ease yourself in. Start by writing one thing, then two, then three. Until you get to a point where you can write a whole page full every single day. 

Your brain will train itself to think very positive and loving thoughts about yourself. You can even go back and read through these thoughts to remind yourself on days in which you are struggling to love yourself. 

So get out there. Get yourself a pretty notebook and start your self-love journal! You won’t regret it. 

Use Affirmations 

I am a big fan of using positive affirmations. They have been a life changer. 

 You can say them in your head or out loud but they most definitely work. 

Look into the mirror and say “I am enough” “I am beautiful” “I am who I am and I’m proud”. Don’t let anyone or anything bring you down and turn saying these things into a habit. Eventually, everything that you say will become true to you. 

It doesn’t matter what other people think. All that matters is what you think. I personally use affirmations for anxiety, depression and when I need a little bit of self-love and care in my life. 

It’s amazing once you really get into it. 

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others 

I know this is easier said than done. But please try and stop comparing yourself to others.

That pretty popular girl you walk past on the street. Your friend who gets all the guys (or girls). The girl with the perfect hair and skin. The people working in much more glamorous jobs than yourself. These are all the people that I have compared myself to in the past and I’m here to say that it was not healthy. 

Your confidence in yourself and your abilities will increase at a fast pace if you stop comparing yourself. Anytime you find yourself thinking, ”I wish I had hair like that” or something along those lines. Push that thought aside and start thinking about all the things you love about yourself. This is difficult to achieve but with enough practice, you will get there. 

You will feel so much better and eventually comparing yourself with others will be long in the past. You won’t even think about it anymore. 

Let Go Of Toxic Friendships 

This one is the most difficult of all. However, it is vital if you want to start your self-love journey without anything getting in the way. 

Toxic friendships are the worst. You don’t want to admit that they are bad for your mental health because they are your friends but it’s true. 

I’ve personally dealt with many one-sided friendships. The type where I clearly cared more about them than they did for me. It always ends with you thinking negative thoughts about yourself like ”I’m just not good enough no matter how hard I try”. Well, stop trying! Stop chasing after people who won’t do the same for you. Just stop. 

Distance yourself from these people and focus on yourself for once. Completely cutting down your friends list will be the best decision that you ever make. Trust me. 

Surround yourself with friends who love you and support you no matter what. The friends whose faces light up when they see you. Don’t settle for any less. 

Your self-confidence will thrive if you surround yourself with the right people. 

I hope that this blog post helps you in one way or the other. Let me know if you start utilizing any of these tips and they work for you! Just knowing that I have helped at least one person will really make my day. 

Also, leave a comment and let us know if you struggle with self-confidence and how you overcame it. We would love to know. 

Ruth x 

About The Guest Blogger 

Ruth is a mental health, personal development, self love and self care blogger from the UK. Her main aim since starting her blog ”ColourfulHope” is to use her experiences with mental health and turn it into something positive by giving other people struggling proof and hope that it will get better. She’s a mental health advocate and isn’t afraid of talking about her past experiences. 

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